I know I might seem biased against the Vikings, but honestly I don't see Teddy Bridgewater fixing their team. Christian Ponder is clearly a bust. And they don't have anything special on defense to make up for a bad offense that can only score points via Adrian Peterson. They're almost like the Packers with Scott Tolzien at quarterback.
Rank:
31
Titans
Does anyone of note really play for this team anymore? I guess they hired Ken Whisenhunt, so that's something, maybe.
Rank:
20
Texans
I wanted to put the Texans high in the rankings as my surprise team on the rise, but then I realized... being the worst team in the league a season ago is not a fluke. There must be some issues, and although the Chiefs went from worst in the league to one of the best records last year, they did it because of an entirely new coaching staff. All the Texans got was... Ryan Fitzpatick. I'm not seeing the comeback, but I do love that front seven, and maybe what they were missing last year was the wonderfully kooky Brian Cushing.
Rank:
17
Steelers
Oh great, they have two seemingly good running backs. Too bad they only have one good receiver. Double team Antonio Brown and frustrate their run game and you've got this team beat.
Rank:
21
Saints
I think losing Darren Sproles might be bad for this team. Now their best two running backs are Pierre Tomas and Mark Ingram. Unless their rookie works out for them, I don't see them having much of a running or screen game. As for defense, still sucks but at least they got rid of Roman Harper, who is older than dirt. What idiotic team traded for him, oh wait, it was the Panthers. Just read a headline that said "Harper Adds Attitude to Secondary." Because that's what the Panthers were missing... attitude. But anyway, the Saints have at least done a good job at keeping their talent fresh.
Rank:
11
Redskins
Week 3. Redskins are down by 21. RGIII is like, "I'M GUNNA TAKE THIS TEAM ON MY BACK GUYS!" because he wants to show his teammates that he's tough even though he's done this 500 times. Or maybe it's just because he's really not as good as everyone thinks and he just defaults to running when he can't find anyone open. Either way... *snap* there goes his leg bone, and with it, the Redskin's season. JUST CHANGE YOUR TEAM'S NAME ALREADY!
Rank:
29
Ravens
I still think they're resting on their laurels from two seasons ago. Give us back Steve Smith!
Rank:
19
Rams
I don't know why I thought their chances might be better before the Bradford injury. He's just not that good because he hasn't been able to get more experience with the constant injuries. The sad part is that their defense is loaded. They might have the 3rd or 4th best defense in the NFC West, but the reality is, and I hate to say it, the worst defense in the NFC West is better than the best defense in the NFC North.
Rank:
26
Raiders
Blamed Al Davis for all their organizational issues and they are still awful now that he's gone. Oakland- where careers go to die.
Rank:
32
Patriots
My new pick to win the AFC--The New England Patriots. Old is new again! Belichick does need one year every now and then to rebuild a Super Bowl competitor, so this year with a much improved defense (including Revis Island), they'll probably go back to winning like it's second nature.
Rank:
3
Panthers
I want to love the Panthers this year, but their front office is making it haaaaard. Even though Kelvin Benjamin looks like the next Calvin Johnson (or Josh Gordon, hopefully not), none of Carolina's receivers have caught a pass in a regular season game. That leaves Greg Olsen as the veteran of the group. I know their defense is going to be strong this year, but it won't mean anything if our offense can't do anything. Steve Smith is going to revenge all over us when we play the Ravens this year.
Rank:
10
Lions
I guess the Lions were a lot worse than I thought last year. They're kind of a team that's built mainly for fantasy team owners. But I still feel like they have a lot of talent and they just need it to work cohesively. Maybe their new coach Jim Caldwell can do that. Although it's going to be weird going from hyper-aggressive Jim Schwartz to Zen monk Jim Caldwell.
Rank:
9
Jets
I'm glad I don't cheer for a team that misses the days of Chad Pennington. The Jets organization seems like the most hostile work environment in the NFL.
Rank:
24
Jaguars
At least start Blake Bortles and give fans some entertainment this season! It'll take away some of the pain caused by looking at those awful helmets.
Rank:
27
Giants
At least when Eli Manning throws an interception, it's cute. Might be a lot of those this year with the new offense.
Rank:
13
Falcons
I thought maybe they would return to their playoff form this year, but I think everyone in their division has gotten better, and they don't have much more than 2 great receivers and a good quarterback.
Rank:
18
Eagles
The Chip Kelly system won't bulldoze the league it seems, but it's pretty effective at allowing the Eagles to win all the games that they should. Darren Sproles will make them even better I think. Still no defense to speak of though.
Rank:
7
Dolphins
I don't even understand how this team got sorta close to the playoffs the last two years (their division competition obviously - Jets, Bills). I just have to believe reality catches up with them this year. Or... maybe Knowshon Moreno has been the missing piece all this time!
Rank:
28
Cowboys
Salary cap's a bitch ain't it, Jerry? Ever since that era ended, Jerry Jones has gone from hero to villan. The worst kind of owner really. A micromanager... micromanages are the worst... I want to strangle all micromanagers...
Rank:
16
Colts
The colts are going to be boom or bust this year on offense, but I'll be happy to cheer for Hakeem Nicks (HEELS!). I don't know if anyone really expects anything out of their defense, and that's another reason why they're lower than most projections. How long has Mathis been playing anyway? Eventually his effectiveness will run out and I haven't heard of any other playmakers on that defense.
Rank:
12
Chiefs
This is the year the Chiefs come back down to earth a bit. I was so sure they had a chance to beat Denver last year, but man was I wrong on that one (and unfortunately my brother was right, so I owed him a 6-pack of beer). They're just a well managed team that doesn't lose games it should win, but they can't ever make the upset. Their defense looked great last year because it had so many picks, and it's likely that this number won't stay astronomical this year. Man I love those uniforms though. Never change, Chiefs uniforms... never change.
Rank:
8
Chargers
I'm not exactly sure why I'm ranking the Chargers lower than most analysts, but their last season just seemed fluky (maybe because they were incredibly lucky getting into the playoffs) and I don't get the sense that they are drafting the right pieces or have the right coaching staff. Their uniforms wonderful though.
Rank:
15
Cardinals
I heard they lost Daryl Washington and that this would ruin the chemistry of their excellent defense. What do they honestly have without their defense? I think the Cardinals decided that one of their defining characteristics would be finding supposedly washed up quarterbacks and reviving their careers for a Super Bowl run. It worked with Kurt Warner, but that was pretty lucky. Palmer is no Kurt Warner.
Rank:
25
Buccaneers
Hey, nice new uniforms. Bigger flag, nice color layout, and your numbers look like a stupid alarm clock. PICK A PIRATE FONT NEXT TIME!!
Rank:
23
Browns
They lost their best player too. No, not Trent Richardson. No, not the likely suspended Josh Gordon. I'm talking about D'Qwell Jackson. He was too good for that team. And I only know that because of the one year where I played fantasy football with IDPs.
Rank:
30
Bills
My Bills-fan co-worker is so desperate for a new quarterback that he said he would like it if his team tried to trade for Brady Quinn. Holy god, how can any quarterback be worse than Brady Quinn?
Rank:
22
Bears
They're still a team with strong offensive weapons but no offensive line and a bad defense. It's almost the total opposite of the way the Bears have been built in the past several years. So I'm predicting they neither improve nor decline this season.
Rank:
14
Bengals
I think the Bengals could become the new Ravens. They're never a sexy pick to win it all, but they're always a lock for the playoffs. I just feel like that stability of the roster, along with experience and team chemistry have to pay off sometime.
Rank:
6
Broncos
They'll come out of the gate angry and stuff, but I think they're just trying plug holes in the defense with free agents like Demarcus Ware. The Seahawks showed that chemistry beats individual talent. Their offense should be good again this year.
Rank:
5
Seahawks
It's been so long since I've seen a team keep their motivation after winning the Super Bowl and get lucky enough to make it all the way to the next. I don't see the Seahawks quite making it this year. They may have the best record by the end of the regular season, but I think a scrappy team will knock them off.
Rank:
4
49ers
As a Packers fan, I've hated the 9ers pretty hard the last three seasons. But they still look very strong so I can't really see them declining this season. They've added a fourth excellent receiver with Stevie Johnson. The other three being Anquan Boldin, Michael Crabtree, and Mario Manningham. Then there's Vernon Davis too. Give those weapons to Cam Newton and the Panthers are your Super Bowl contender, not this team. If Kaepernick doesn't flourish in this offense, he really is garbage.
Rank:
2
Packers
Ok, I've got to admit, it looks like it's going to be another rough year for this defense, so clearly my bias is pushing past this observation. I just can't not pick them to win it all when so many analysts are (which is probably jinxing the whole damn thing). Let's just hope that our offensive playcalling improves and our run and pass game become equally potent poisons to pick. (alliteration... INTENDED)
